30 Thoughts: Day 2

Yesterday, I wrote about life not going the way you planned and how it’s okay. Today’s life lesson kinda plays off that a little bit.

So, lesson #2 I’ve learned is:

Don’t be afraid to start over.

I feel like I have been hitting the rest button of my life since I started college in 2009. At Hollins, I changed my major 2 times, from Theatre to English, then from English to Communication Studies. All in a span of a year and a half. After college and after I had recovered from surgery, I bounced between jobs, trying to find the right fit. I have started novels, only to start something new a few chapters in. I couldn’t tell you how many blogs I have started along the way, only to lose interest in them or abandon them because I never had the means to update them like I wanted to.

When I got married in 2017, I thought that I had finally found that one thing that I wasn’t going to give up on. It was going to be the one constant in my life that would make up for all the indecisiveness I’ve felt growing up.

Well, we all know how that ended up.

Image result for reset gif

In the long run, this is one reset that I’m actually glad that’s happened. Do I regret my marriage? Absolutely not; it taught me so many things, allowed me to experience feelings and adventures I could only day dream of. I wish things would have turned out differently, but in the long run I was only hurting myself and my own mental health trying to take care of somebody else’s. I learned that I cannot help somebody overcome their own issues if I never was able to take care of myself.

And so I had to reset once again.

It’s okay to do so. I have learned through the years that we don’t have a limited number of times to reset and start over. We weren’t just created to work our life away and die. We are meant to learn from our mistakes and better ourselves – no matter how many times it takes us.

I’m sure my thirties will have their fair share of resets, and I look forward to rebuilding each time. Sometimes the do-over is what’s fun about it.

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