Two Years Down

Well, we’ve finally hit the 2-year mark.

While today is technically our anniversary, we celebrated yesterday due to Father’s Day being today and the fact that I have to work this evening. Bret’s sister surprised us by taking us to a small family get-together lunch she had been planning for a week. Since we didn’t have a formal wedding or reception, she felt like this was the least she can do. And it was so appreciative.

Afterward, we were supposed to go to Christiansburg (about a 45-minute drive away) and spend the day shopping and have a nice dinner somewhere. I also wanted to take Bret to their trampoline park because he is obsessed with going to one (who said marriage couldn’t be fun??).

Our car had other plans.

So after buying 2 new tires and spending almost 2/3 of what little money we had saved up, we ended up riding around town and eating at Burger King. While fun and allowed us to spend time together, it wasn’t my plan. And when my ideas are suddenly altered, my own anxiety shoots through the roof. Unfortunately, my anxiety usually comes out in the form of anger.

I didn’t take too kindly to my Snapchat.

Snapchat-10812837

Thanks for delaying one of my 30 Before 30 goals, you dumb car. We may not have gotten to celebrate our anniversary on the day away from home (number 2 on my list), but we’re rain-checking our overnight trip until sometime in July. See, thinking positive of a negative situation!

Regardless, today has had a few milestones. Bret has made another step in conquering his fear of being behind the wheel of a car.  Because of his last episode with his anxiety, it stripped all confidence he had in driving and even riding for the longest time. While he is comfortable driving around again, it’s been an act of Congress to get this man to drive to the gas station that’s literally a half-mile away. 

Today after our get together, he helped his brother with some odd end chores and asked to drive home. While his brother is usually apprehensive about anybody driving his truck when he has his lawn mower trailer attached, he knew how important and unlike Bret to ask to drive. He made it all the way back to Hillsville and then drove our car back to Galax to get our tires. By then, he was driven out, but it’s the most progress he has made in driving in almost a year.

It’s been quite an adventure so far. We have our mixture of good days and bad days, but that’s life for everybody. We work opposite shifts, so the one-on-one time is very few and far in between for now, but when we have those cherished days off together, we try to make the most of them. Whether it’s grabbing a bite to eat at McDonald’s and sitting at the truck stop so Bret can watch the tractor trailers come in and pass on the interstate or if it’s sitting at home and watching the same 20 movies we’ve watched thousands of time.

Two years later, and there are still things that we’re learning about each other. When you’re married with anxiety and depression, sometimes you have to relearn yourself before you can love somebody else, which is the case for the two of us. While our love is unconditional for each other, our self-love causes us to doubt, to run, or even want to quit. But the good days outweigh the bad. You make terrible situations tolerable. You find a way to smile through the bad and allow your smile to brighten through the good. Each and every day is a new journey.

And that’s what this life is all about. One journey at a time.

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